Next Elder Scrolls Title Wishlist

I've heard through the grapevine that Bethesda Softworks is done creating Expansions for The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and that while they may release additional Downloadable Content/Plug-Ins, Bethesda will now be focusing on the development of Fallout 3.

With the huge success of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, however, it's only a matter of time before Bethesda Softworks begins developing The Elder Scrolls V, and while I don't expect this title to be released until the next generation of consoles, that isn't going to stop me from publishing this wish list of things I'd like to see in the next The Elder Scrolls title.


My The Elder Scrolls V Wish List:

- We've already seen in detail the provinces of High Rock, Morrowind, and Cyrodiil, home to the Bretons/Orcs, Dunmer, and Imperials respectively. I'd love to see the next The Elder Scrolls game set either in Summerset Isle, home of the Altmer, or Black Marsh, home of the Argonians. I think either province would provide a lovely visual backdrop with unique architecture and design styles. Summerset Isle could provide a nice central story along the lines of the Mages and perhaps some kind of severe Magicka crisis, and Black Marsh might be able to provide a nice slavery and racism storyline.

- Mounted combat. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion introduced mounts which was a great gameplay experience, next I'd love to be able to fight from my mount and trample infantry under-hoof.

- Ability to join the Imperial Legion. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind had this "Guild," so imagine my surprise when I learned I was unable to enlist in the Imperial Legion in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, the capital province of the Empire itself! While granted, you can join the Blades, there's no additional Quests for them outside of the Main Quest that I'm aware of, and it just wasn't the same. I think it would be quite grand to play the part of Legionnaire, marching with troops, establishing camps, and dealing with enemy incursions in disciplined formations.

- Allies and Parties. Tamriel is a living, breathing world, and if I'm encouraged to be able to live another life in it, to do anything I wish, then why can I not make proper allies, friends, and relations, and have a Party that I can Quest with? With the ability to have a Party, and Mounted Combat, I'm thinking cavalry charges!

- Enhanced AI. For Allies and Parties, Bethesda will obviously need to rework the Ally AI so they aren't getting in your way and dying stupidly in every encounter.

- Leveling System. Many people had issues with the Leveling System of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, how the game world and all enemies leveled with the Player Character. I personally didn't have an issue with this unto itself, kept the game challenging, however what did bother me was how later in the game, low end enemies like bandits and highway men were sporting Glass or Daedric armour and weapons. If the world's basic rabble were so well equipped, why hadn't they started conquering the Empire? While I have no problems with enemies leveling with you, keep their equipment to a realistic representation of what they'd be able to possess.

- Marriage and Property. If I'm able to live another life, why can't I get married, and why can't houses be more than an oversized, novelty storage chest? Since The Elder Scrolls are Single Player games, it's not like I can show off my realty to anyone, so why can't I have a husband or wife to maintain a home, or to perhaps rent the house out to make additional profit? This is one aspect of the game world that Fable: The Lost Chapters did much better than The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.


And that's my wish list. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion provided one of the most detailed and intricate game worlds that I've ever had the privilege of exploring, but like anything else, there's room for improvement. When Bethesda develops the next title in the series, I'd love to see some of the above included.

New Fable 2 Concept Art

LionHead Studios has updated it's official Fable 2 page with some additional concept art that you can view here.

Halo 3: Collector's Edition Pre-Ordered

With Best Buy's Online Only Canada Day sale going on, all video games are 10% off, so I decided to pre-order the Halo 3: Collector's Edition.

Basically, I'm saving 10% (though there is a small shipping charge, so it's more like 7.5%), am guaranteed a copy, and I've ordered several items from Best Buy before and am not worried about it being damaged in the mail.

The only cons I foresee are that I may need to wait a few extra days for my copy to be delivered, and knowing Best Buy, they'll send me the French version like they did with the Gears of War: Limited Collector's Edition.

Hmm. Well, should they screw things up I can always take it in for an exchange, and since the release date is just under 3 months away, I can always cancel if I want to walk into a store the day of.

Pictured is the back of the Halo 2: Limited Collector's Edition DVD Tin, since that's such a kick ass picture of the Master Chief.

Xbox 360 512 MB Memory Unit and Halo Faceplate

Last weekend I removed and took my Xbox 360's 20 GB HDD to a friend's place, and while this wasn't the first time I've removed my HDD, it was the first time I've traveled around with it. I must say, I found its chrome finished rim rather flimsy and that, coupled with the fact that my 4.5 month old brand new Xbox 360 Pro System broke in early May, well, it got me thinking.

My Xbox 360 can be replaced, which it already has been since I'm now using a refurbished unit that was provided under warranty by Xbox Support. Should something ever happen to my HDD, however, I'm screwed. Odds are the data would be unrecoverable, and that means that around 150 hours of play time on The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion alone would go down the drain.

This Canada Day weekend, Best Buy is having an Online Only Sale which includes 20% off all Xbox 360 Accessories, so I decided to purchase a 512 MB Memory Unit (64 MB version shown) for the sole purpose of backing up my Xbox 360 save games.

It's unfortunate that Microsoft is cashing in on storage options for its console, and that you can't save games to conventional USB Flash Drives, however the sale cost price of their 512 MB Memory Unit was not too bad, and it's providing me with piece of mind. Too bad I can't copy original Xbox Backward Compatible profiles and save games to it, but now I can also take my Xbox 360 Profile and Xbox Live Arcade games to friend's places on my own bloody key chain!

I also decided to treat myself to a little cosmetic upgrade for my Xbox 360. The Halo Faceplate is under the same 20% discount, and I decided to pick one up. It also comes with a free download of the Halo Trilogy Theme for the Xbox 360 Dashboard, which features the Master Chief from Halo 3, Halo 2, and Halo: Combat Evolved on the first 3 Blades respectively, and 343 Guilty Spark with one of the Installations on the System Blade.

One thing I gotta say is that removing an existing Faceplate from an Xbox 360 is a pain in the ass. All you have to do is grab the little indent on the right side (or bottom if your Xbox 360 is in the vertical position) and pull until it detaches. Well I swear I nearly broke my original Faceplate removing the damn thing. It just wouldn't come off, and after triple checking the instructions to make sure I was indeed doing it right, I pulled so hard that it flew halfway across the room! Nothing was broken on the Faceplate or the console, thankfully, but geez! Talk about tough customization.

I also found that attaching the Halo Faceplate was a little tricky, but it was simply a matter of applying even pressure to both sides. I must say that the unit looks nice with the Master Chief on the front, and while I like the Halo Trilogy Theme, it's disappointing that in 3 of the 4 Blades, the Master Chief is covered by online ads. But then, I can always play in Offline mode, now can't I.

Announcing my New Arch-Nemesis, oh, and Happy Canada Day!

Today is our great nation's birthday, and while you contemplate getting drunk off some fine imported European beer and blowing stuff up with quality Mexican fireworks, I'd like to announce my new Arch- Nemesis of whom poems and songs will be written about our epic conflicts: Aaron, the Future Shop online search engine guy.

You can find Aaron constantly lurking in his evil lair at Future Shop.ca here, where he _claims_ he'll assist you by finding useful info about anything you ask, but instead he'll just pull up bunch of silly, long-winded forum posts that'll take hours to sift through. After yelling at him over his incompetence, he just sat there staring at me, with plain smugness stamped on his face. It was at that point I realized he was challenging me to a staring contest, and our rivalry began.

I stared and I stared, and in a flash-ad sponsored moment of distraction, he quickly rolled away in his chair only to reappear back into place like he never left! The audacity! Once, he even pulled out a PSP and started playing some retro game in a vain attempt to ignore me. Rest assured, I gave him a piece of my mind over his trite costumer service, but again he simply resumed to stare.

So the lines have been drawn and the field is set. I will not rest until my Arch-Nemesis, Aaron, is vanquished and his grip of tyranny is removed from the fine establishment that is Future Shop.

I also urge you, our readers, to take part in Epic Quest '07! If you have any military surplus, such as helmets, ammo, or booze that you can donate to The Cause, please send it as soon as possible.

Thank you for supporting our troops!

The Orange Box Final DVD Case Art, Half-Life 2: Episode Two Preview

Last February, we reported the image of what was sadly believed to be the final box art for Valve's upcoming compilation title, The Orange Box. Needless to say, that box art sucked, and even though I don't rightly care much about Valve's lackluster products these days (sorry fan boys, but Valve isn't overly impressive anymore), I'm happy to say that the box art has been redesigned.

Pictured here, taken from TeamXbox, is the final Xbox 360 box art for The Orange Box. Now this, at least, looks like a proper game case.

TeamXbox also has a preview up of Half-Life 2: Episode Two, which you can check out here, and there are also several nice new screenshots in their gallery here.

The preview assumes that most of it's readers are console gamers and have not been able to experience Half-Life 2: Episode One, so they quickly sum that up (Spoiler Alert) and then discuss what's been revealed about the story for Half-Life 2: Episode Two as well as what we can expect from several gameplay scenarios.

They also discuss the upcoming Half-Life 2: Episode Three with Valve, and how that'll be released to the Xbox 360. Basically, Valve is in talks with Microsoft to have it released over Xbox Live (which is what I always figured they'd do), and they may also release another The Orange Box-styled compilation to retail containing all the Half-Life 2 episodes.

For me, Half-Life 2 was a good game, I own the Xbox version and have played the PC version, but it was not the second coming of Christ everyone in PC-Land said it was, and in almost all respects its Single Player Campaign sorely paled in comparison to Halo 2's.

At the very least, I will be renting The Orange Box, as I want to see where the story goes and if Valve's learned how to actually story-tell now (again, sorry Fan Boys, but Half-Life 2 didn't have much of a story; it was an immersive experience of a bunch of stuff that happened), but I don't expect I'll rush out and buy it, especially because there'll be so many superior Single Player games being released around the same time frame (Halo 3, and possibly Mass Effect).

Overlord Demo Impressions

About a week ago I downloaded and tried out the demo for Overlord (Xbox 360), and I must say that I haven't had this much fun with a demo in quite some time.

Overlord is a tongue-in-cheek fantasy world in which you play the part of a newly resurrected evil overlord, and you have a growing horde of Goblin minions at your disposal. From the looks of things, your previous master got his butt whooped by a bunch of heroes, and your forces have been decimated and your Dark Tower is in ruins.

The Demo starts you off from the beginning as you learn how to control your minions and have them do all your dirty work. The minions themselves are hilarious with whoops of glee and fanatical joy as they tear things limb from limb, put pumpkins on their heads as helmets, and generally just destroy all you need them to.

You ultimately get to venture into the world and find yourself cowing the low brow peasants who are being oppressed by a bunch of Halflings. You also ultimately get a fireball spell, and lighting grass on fire to burn enemies alive is hilarious.

Aside from the fact that you're mainly controlling your minions instead of doing all the work yourself, the setting and... IQ of the villagers and enemies reminds me a lot of Fable: The Lost Chapters.

In short, I greatly enjoyed the Demo for Overlord. The game has now hit shelves and is getting average revues, so at the least, it's a must-rent title. Don't take my word for it though, download the Demo from the Xbox Live Marketplace and experience what it means to be cheesily evil!

Xbox Live Multiplayer Impressions

Last Weekend, I used the Xbox Live 2-Day Trial Card that came with my copy of Gears of War to play some Multiplayer games over Xbox Live for the first time in my life.

The trial card did not upgrade my Silver Membership to a Gold one, but rather allowed my Silver account two days of unrestricted access for playing Multiplayer games.

Once I used the trial card, the first thing I did was download the free bonus maps and content for some classic Xbox titles, such as Halo 2, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and Doom 3.

The next thing I did was start some gaming, and of course, the first game I had to try was Doom. Since Doom is the forefather of all modern shooters and begin the online gaming phenomenon that we know today over a decade ago, I thought it fitting that this title would be my inaugural experience over Xbox Live.

Doom unto itself was just as fun as I remembered, and I still did well in the few games I played. I did, unfortunately, find it a bit tricky to find a match, either ranked or otherwise, however I expected that less people would be playing it on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon.

The next title I tried was Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, however at the time I was only ever able to get one match going, and my opponent was so above me in skill that the entire game lasted about a minute.

Lastly, I decided to try Gears of War itself, being the premiere Xbox 360 online title right now, and aside from the fact that I sucked at it, Gears of War was fun and something I'd like to play again. One of my jerk teammates was verbally unsupportive of his own team (though he was the most skilled of us), so I left him negative feedback, which gave me a chance to try that option out.

I did use the headset that came with Xbox 360, though I spoke sparingly, and with voice filtering I found the overall verbal quality to be garbled and low, but still intelligible.

Generally speaking, my experience with Xbox Live was good, though I'm undecided yet if it was good enough to pay a yearly fee that equals the cost of a regular new game. In a day or so I'll be using the free 1-Month card that Xbox Support gave me for all my trouble, and one thing I'll be doing is going through Gears of War Co-Op with the Staff. I'd also like to give Perfect Dark Zero a go.

Since I'm still playing through The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and with BioShock less than 2 months away, I figure I will hold off on a Gold Subscription since I'll mainly be re-focusing on Single Player after the trial card runs out, but it should be fun while it lasts.

StarCraft II - Protoss Colossus Info

Blizzard Entertainment has updated their official StarCraft II web site with details on the new Protoss unit, the Colossus.

You can check out it's details as well as screenshots, video, and concept art right here.

Mass Effect Krogan Species Overview - Part III

BioWare concludes their overview of the Krogan species from their upcoming Xbox 360 RPG, Mass Effect, by looking at one of your potential party members, the Krogan Battle Master Urdnot Wrex.

You can check out his bio right here.

Special Edition Halo Zune Pre-loaded Artwork

The folks over at TeamXbox have ripped all the preloaded artwork from their Special Edition Halo Zune. There's about 120 pieces of great artwork from concept, to marketing, to storyboards. Most of it is from Halo 3 and never before seen, and there's some pieces from Halo 2 and even Halo: Combat Evolved.

You can check it all out here.

BioShock Plasmid Videos, Sound Clips, and Screenshots

The Cult of Rapture has some videos up of various Plasmids in action, as well as a few different audio clips and an interview with the sounds designers of BioShock. You can check out the Plasmid videos here (on the right hand column), and the sound clips here.

TeamXbox also has a few new screenshots which you can view right here.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360) Review

Two weeks ago, I completed my first play-through of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360), and now I am faced with the very difficult task of reviewing the game. Mind you, it won't be difficult at all to go on about what the game does right and wrong, but the sheer scope of this title warrants a lot of thought simply to keep the size of this review manageable. I suppose that to start, despite some shortcomings, it's safe to say that The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of the most engrossing games I have ever played.

My love affair with The Elder Scrolls series started in the Spring of '06 when, looking for a good game to play, I decided to pick up The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - Game of the Year Edition (Xbox). In short, it was the best game I never finished, and I was very disappointed with the ultimate lack of focus that it held. There was so much potential there, and yet I found it fell just short on delivery.

Flash forward a year later and I now own an Xbox 360. While looking for another engrossing title to play, I remembered fondly all that The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - Game of the Year Edition could have been, and I decided to take a chance and pick up The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. First and foremost I'm happy to say that it "fixes" most of the issues I had with its predecessor.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion features proper Quest tracking, full dialogue, better combat controls, fast travel between locations, some amalgamated Skills, etc., and while many would certainly say the game has less options than The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (which is true), I say it takes out all the clutter and helps to lay things out more clearly for the player who doesn't have 8 hours a day to devote solely to playing the game.

And yes, like its predecessor, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is digital crack and will grind your social life to a halt; it's just that addictive. The game's story is classic dark fantasy fair and generally forgettable: A cult has assassinated the Emperor (Patrick Stewart) and daedra (demons) begin invading the land, and only you can find the heir to the throne and put a stop to the invasion. Again, we've seen it's like before, but what really stands out in the game is how alive the actual world is, and just how much there is to explore! The province of Cyrodiil where the game takes place is a marvel to behold. The game world is massive and you're free to travel pretty much anywhere within it that you wish, and every place you go is so beautifully detailed.

There are full fledged cities, towns, dungeons, ruins, camp sites, forests, rivers, streams, mines, mountains, plains, etc., and each region has it's own unique feel. As the player in this open ended title, you are free to pursue the Main Quest, or explore the world and do as you please, or a little of both. There are side Quests to do, Guilds to join, and countless ruins to explore for nice loot (which I found otherwise generally difficult to come by). The game also features a full day/night cycle and weather patterns, and I must say it's quite beautiful to stand high up in a mountain range and watch the sun set behind the Imperial City in the distance while a light snowfall is going on.

To explore the world, you can walk, run, and swim your way around, fast travel between known locations, or acquire a horse and race across the countryside. The addition of horses is really cool, and once you get a fast mount it is simply a joy to watch the insanely detailed world fly by as you gallop off, though there will be frame rate hick-ups as you do so. Too bad you can't fight while mounted though.

At the beginning of the game, you choose from several different races and character classes (or you can make your own class), and you can thoroughly customize how your character's face looks. I chose to be a Male Dunmer (Dark Elf) Scout (Combat focused), and to pursue the Main Quest as well as the Arena and to join the Fighter's Guild. I also took my time exploring much of the world (though certainly not all of it), and I ultimately took about 111 hours to reach Level 38 and complete all the Quests I wished to with this character.

The race you choose and the Guilds you join will affect how others deal with you in this living world, as there is racism and faction rivalries. The people of Cyrodiil also have lives of there own, going to work, to church, and into shops. Some will travel between cities, they'll start conversations with those around them, sit and eat, sleep, etc. Much of their idle conversation gets very repetitive quickly, the same voice actors are re-used constantly, and there's not a child to be found in the land, but given the vast scope of the world, such things are easily forgivable.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion does feature an odd leveling system, however, in the sense that when you level, every creature in the game levels around you. What this means is that if you don't level the right skills first, or come across some good items, you are going to have a hard time against certain enemies, as even basic bandits will sport Glass and Daedric armour and weapons as the game progresses. Generally, I found this odd leveling system made the mid-teen levels ridiculously difficult, but things improved vastly from that point once I really focused on leveling my Combat skills.

I do also wish that the games Misc. item section of your character's inventory was subdivided in further pages. The large amount of scrolls, keys, and gems simply cluttered that menu up so much, and the most useful item, Repair Hammers, were right down at the bottom of the list. Scrolling down for so long just to repair my armour got rather tiresome after a while, and I felt this little tedium could have been avoided with a slightly more streamlined menu design.

I also had the fortune of becoming a Vampire through the course of the game. Vampirism is a disease that can be cured early on like any other disease you can contract (with potions or praying at Chapels), however if left untreated for three days, you become a Vampire and must go on a lengthy Quest to acquire a cure. I found vampirism itself to be quite cool. Your character looks more aged and as the disease progresses you generally become stronger save for taking damage from the sun, which does get a bit annoying. What was a bit disappointing though was that the stages of vampirism you go through, based on the last time you fed on a sleeping victim, were somewhat buggy. I would feed to lessen the disease, take a nap, and bam, the disease worsens again, but if I go a week without sleeping, it never advances in stages at all. Granted, vampirism was still worth it for the Hunter's Sight ability.

When it's all said and done, however, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is an amazing, deep, and rich play experience and in my opinion is a must have title. There is simply so much to do in the land of Cyrodiil, that you can not experience it all properly in one play through, and that single play through will certainly be a lengthy experience. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion offers a very rich world to explore, and is well worth the price of admission.

StarCraft II - New Protoss Building Added

The official StarCraft II web site has been updated with a new Protoss building, the Stargate, which you can check out here.

I used to hate the sight of multiple Stargates in the original title; meant I had a lot of Scouts or Corsairs to deal with. Scouts + Corsairs = Bad.

Final Xbox Support Update

And so, the Saga comes to a close (I hope). As of this past Wednesday, I received my gift copy of Perfect Dark Zero, and thus Microsoft has fulfilled everything they said they would.

I'm gaming happily again, and I do hope my refurbished unit holds up well and that I won't have the need to go through Xbox Support again.

I'll also be using the 1 Month Free Xbox Live Gold Subscription I received beginning the middle of this week, and I'll really get to check out the Multiplayer options for some great titles like Gears of War.

Should be some good times!

McFarlane to Produce Halo 3 Figures and Vehicles for 2008

Todd McFarlane is officially working on several Halo 3 action figures and vehicles to be released in 2008.

In terms of collectible action figures, this is a great move for Bungie and McFarlane's figures are of the best quality out there.

You can check out the release here.

Damn that Master Chief figure looks good, I'll probably end up picking one up for myself.

Mass Effect Krogan Species Overview - Part II

BioWare has released the second part of their overview on the Krogan species from their upcoming RPG, Mass Effect.

In it, they discuss how the Krogan were used as soldiers two save Citadel space, and then crushed underfoot for their own rebellion.

Check it out here.

The Staff returns from Oblivion

We, the Staff (TM) thought we'd take a moment to announce that we have escaped the clutches of Oblivion. Namely, the game known as The Elder Scrolls IV. And we'd italicize that since Fearless Leader's an italicizing fancier, but Opera's being difficult.

Anywho, We, the Staff (TM) thought We'd share a little something that's been running around in our Oblivion-addled brains for the past couple months. See below.










+






=

"Bucka-buckaw, Bucka-buckaww, Bucka-buckawww, Bucka-buckawwww, bucka-buck."

That is all.

-The Staff

Halo 3 Limited Edition Xbox 360 Controllers with Art and Figure by Todd McFarlane Announced

In September, Microsoft will release 2 limited edition Halo 3 themed Wireless Controllers for the Xbox 360. When I first heard of this, I was unimpressed, however I've just learned that the art is being designed by one of my favourite artists, Todd McFarlane.

There will be two controllers, one with a Master Chief theme, and the other with a Brute them. Each controller will also come with a collectible mini-figure, the two (and possibly only ones) shown thus far are the Master Chief with either an Assault Rifle or Shotgun.

These controllers may not be worth the cost, but McFarlane's involvement elevates them to a new level of cool. You can check out McFarlane's announcement, which features some shots of the mini-figures, right here.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Review

Much like the first sequel in the trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a film with great effects, but otherwise should never have been made. What's even sadder is that even the charm of Johnny Depp and the sex appeal of Keira Knightley couldn't save this sinking vessel.

I find it very difficult to review this film's plot, as there really isn't one, and what there is is rather pointless and confusing. After about 40 minutes I leaned over to my friend and asked him if he knew what the heck was going on, to which he replied "no." And it just... didn't... end... Clocking in at nearly 3 hours, sitting through Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End feels like you're at the end of the world (and yes, this lame joke is funner than most of the humour in the film).

Now let's see, as I recall from the end of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and the Black Pearl were consumed by the giant Kraken, which is the pet of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) who captain's the near invincible vessel, the Flying Dutchman. Some snooty British officer, Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander), wants the chest of Davy Jones to gain control of him and the Dutchman to further Britain's hold over the seas, and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) wants to rescue his father (Stellan Skarsgard) while at the same time being heartbroken over the belief that his beloved Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) has the hots for Jack when she actually set Jack up to die. And in the very end, some crazy voodoo lady (Naomie Harris) is hanging out with Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) whom we saw die at the end of the first film.

All sad fare unto itself, but Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End goes off on a completely different tangent and really just hurts my head thinking about it. It seems that these pirates have a nasty and uncanny knowledge of life and death, and to a point how to come back from it, as well as having some vast organized society and council in which they have the power to trap ancient gods in mortal form. Yeah. Oh, and don't expect to be terrorized by that Kraken, such a major plot piece of the second film, who is conveniently taken care of this time around.

Oh, and it seems that the producer's were able to get Chow Yun-fat onto the cast, and decided to come up with his forgettable character after the fact.

The film does boast some excellent battle sequences, though I must admit those wooden ships can take quite a pounding and somehow manage to stay afloat.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl mixed humour and adventure with a great plot, and it was this simple charm that made that film such a huge success. The sequels, however, have been a clutter of junk thrown together to simply milk the franchise. The humour is re-hashed and half-baked, the characters bland and oft outright ridiculous, and even the sound track, something I loved in the first film, fails to inspire.

In short, Jack and crew should sail to the edge of the world and then off it, as you'll forget most of the film in a few days anyway.