A Russian Naval incident...

...That doesn't end in tragedy. A small Russian submarine got itself caught in deep-sea cables in the North Pacific, and was stranded about 190 metres (almost 650 feet, for all you imperial-loving folkses) beneath the surface.

With help from British, American and Japanese rescue crews, they recovered the sub and her crew. This is a vast improvement in comparison to how the Russkies handled the Kursk disaster five years ago. Back then, they allowed their pride to prevent them from seeking international help. In fact, they flat-out denied that anything was wrong, even though the massive explosions from the Kursk's torpedos detonating registered on seismic monitors in the U.K.!! Consequently, all 118 sailors aboard the Kursk died, even though several were known to have survived the initial blasts and sinking.

As a response to the fact that the Russians still needed to seek international assistance for this latest incident, Communist Party leader Gennady Zyuganov stated "If we can't make effective rescue equipment ourselves, we need to buy it abroad." We, the Staff (TM), can't help but see a trace of irony therein, as once upon a time the ruling Communists would never have so much as considered purchasing equipment from abroad, thereby supporting the "Capitalist Pig Dogs."

-The Staff