With all the freezing rain I worked from home today, and instead of eating my brown bagged lunch, I decided to embark upon a perilous adventure fraught with danger and despair: making myself a bowl of Kraft Dinner.
Now, for those unaware, my culinary skills consist of ordering pizza and opening a bag of Doritos, so cooking non-microwave KD is full of challenges and hazards, such as boiling water. I mean, my God, that water's hot! Do you have any idea what could have happened if it would have got on me!
So anyway, I painstakingly used the power of my manly brain and read the cooking directions 24 times, looking for hidden clues or pitfalls that Kraft might have thrown in. It looked simple enough: boil water, add and stir noodles, mix in sauce, milk, and margarine, however what Kraft failed to mention was the temperature for boiling! Can you imagine such negligence!
Well, while stirring those rebellious noddles you can bet the water started boiling over the pot and with a girlish yell, I triumphantly turned off the stove and hide at the other end of the kitchen lest the pot explode. If there's one thing Gears of War has taught me, it's to take cover and that Check Points are an inadequate save system.
Once that danger had passed I finished off the directions and got about half the provided powder in the pot and cleaned the rest up from the counter (lousy powder crystals).
With my Quest complete and danger overcome, I had myself a hardy lunch.
Victory is mine!
No comments:
Post a Comment