"Return of the Staff"... what say you, peoples? Does that sound like a cool movie name? Bet it would trounce Return of the Jedi. The whole bunch of We, the Staff (TM) running around causing We, the Staff (TM) brand havoc... We smells Oscar, we does!
Anyway, fearless leader's hopes have once again been dashed, as We, the Staff (TM) did not drown ourselves on our sabbatical. Scuba diving can become tricky, however, with all of We, the Staff (TM) down there sharing air. Staff member number N gets really uppity and hogs all the O2, leaving the rest of us with just plain nitrogen. Then we get narcosis and start getting all drunk underwater. Then we start telling off the fishies. Then the fishies show up our swimming ability by bolting out of range of our relentless tauntings. Then we shakes our fists at them real good. Damn fishies, thinkin' they're better than us.
So now everyone should be glad that We, the Staff (TM) have returned to bombard them with more useless crap.