Hearken now and hear what there is to tell of this Tale of Old. Know that not all has been well within this fair land we call T Dot, for in the long forgotten ancient times of 2 years ago a great evil came to plague the land, setting its blight upon us. This malice was wrought through great skill and craft, and it was so well veiled that few marked where the shadow upon their hearts came.
There was one, however, who did perceive the truth. He brushed aside the tangled webs and found the true Enemy, and thus it was that the Eternal Conflict began. For long now, our valiant Staff has engaged in mortal battle with the great Dark Lord himself: Montana Tom.
Tom could use his fowl corporate marketing magic and cloak himself in a form fair and true, with winning smile and perfectly spaced eyebrows, but Telly would not be so easily deceived! Our hero knew that the only hope for T Dot would be to challenge this great evil, and after a few pints of courage, he snatched the milk shake container from a nearby 4 year-old boy, in which the Dark Lord's power and sleepless malice resided, and strove with him.
Tom's will is strong, but so is Telly's, for it is said few can withstand his gaze when his will is bent upon a task and his breath smells of Guinness, and for long they stared into the mind of the other, and Dark Lord Tom put forth his power and summoned his fearsome minions, the Little Troopers to aid him, but Telly could not be daunted. And at the last, Telly cried a great cry, and the 4 year-old fled in terror, and Telly threw the milk shake container, the heart of the Dark Lord's power, into the Trash Bin of Doom beside the Bar of Drunken Sorrow, and so it was believed that the Dark Lord perished.
However, many ages later, whispers have begun to surface that the Dark Lord was not ended and indeed was biding his time. For in his absence, his Little Troopers, cartoon-ish moose, bears, and racoons, prepared for the return of their Lord. They returned to their dark land of Cookhouse, and fortified it with all manner of fearsome creatures and beasts until it became a place of great dread. And indeed, Dark Lord Tom returned and behold! His plans our now in motion, his defences prepared, his armies swelled with the might of many cartoon monkeys, for what manner of creature can truly resist the Dark Lord's call!
The shadow now spreads through T Dot once more. Will Telly take up this quest and attempt to vanquish the Dark Lord once and for all? Will he embark upon the Dark Path of... The Trooper Trek?